It’s that time of year again when we say…
Park On Our Pavement,
We’ll Play On Your Car!
… it’s the 2009 International Carsurfing Championships. This is an open entry competition played anywhere, by anyone, on any day of the year.
We all know cars are crap. Not only do they kill kids, wreck the environment and cost you a fortune; they also make your arse fat!
Ever expanding swathes of our towns, cities and countryside are given over to cars, but some drivers make things even worse by parking on our pavements (sidewalks), cycle paths and pedestrianised areas. All too often mothers with pushchairs are forced into the road because there’s no room left for them on the pavement. But cars, like everything else, can be greenjacked – so let’s have some fun 🙂
Carsurfing is the art of riding on (or over) the top of cars. But we wouldn’t want to recommend anything that might prove dangerous (not to pedestrians at least), so the carsurfing we have in mind targets stationary vehicles that are illegally parked (like it or not to park on a pedestrian area drivers have to commit the criminal act of reckless driving, which makes all pavement parking illegal). And so as not to leave out our pedal powered friends we’d like to encourage cyclists to get involved – those little hump shaped cars are just begging to be rode!
The competition is free for all to enter, but don’t forget to follow the greenjacker’s rules…
1.Only stationary, illegally parked vehicles are legitimate targets. Cars that have mounted pavements have technically broken the law (reckless driving) – although the police aren’t actually interested in prosecuting these vile criminals. We like to give people the benefit of the doubt so we’d say that if you can’t get a pushchair past the car then the driver who parked it there is begging for it. Likewise a car that blocks a bus or bike lane is a prime target.
2. Try not to damage the car (although a few footprints over the bonnet and the roof should be considered poetic justice), criminal damage on an individual level seldom wins hearts and minds. If you want to let the illegal parker know what you think about them leave them a polite note on their windscreen.
3. Don’t cheat and park your own car illegally; we’ll know!
Disclaimer: this is a satirical piece to highlight the problem of pavement parking. We take no responsibility for the actions of other – however we do applaud anyone with the balls to stand up for themselves 🙂